I just got a new workout video (Turbo Jam - similar to Tae Bo but with better music and choreography), and checked out the instructor's blog. She had a great post about raising our children to have good body images. Even before I had Reese, this was a concern of mine. To put it succintly, I don't want Weez to be as screwed up as I was. I still have my off days, but I am a thousand times better than I used to be. I remember being 25 lbs lighter than I am today, and lying in bed crying because I was "too fat". These days, I'm carrying 10-15lbs more than I'd like, but I'm not going to beat myself up over it (my trainer does enough of that for me, LOL!).
Anyhoo, she gave the following tips that I think all parents, especially those of young girls, should read:
1. Never disparage your own physique in their presence. (We all have body parts to complain about, but do it in the privacy of your own bathroom!)
2. In the presence of kids avoid negative words to describe someone, like “fat”, “huge”, “chubby”, “Lazy”.
3. Occasionally compliment your kids muscles, energy, strength, or healthy glow. Avoid comments about weight or negative reference, even of a joking nature with regard to their body.
4. Don’t allow the word “fat” to be used in your household unless you’re describing a paycheck. It’s easy. In fact, I remember my son, not sure what word to use, asking me, “What do we call someone who has a big, big, big, big body?” My reply, “Someone who needs to try Turbo Jam.”
5. Try a little spin control. Make a point to comment on how “unhealthy” or “weak” stars look when their appearance is obviously under weight, malnourished and skeletal. Conversely praise those who exercise, eat right and maintain a healthy appearance and have nice muscle tone.
6. Talk about foods that make you “energized and strong” and never declare you’re on a diet. Instead, announce you’ve decided to stick to a healthy diet, which means moderation, not deprivation.
7. Make healthy eating and fitness central in your life, but declare nothing “off limits”. All foods are fine, in moderation. When my kids want chocolate or ice cream or even french fries, I make a point of telling them it’s fine because they were so active that day. If they want more than their share I remind them that it may make them feel slow, sluggish and cranky.
8. When your children make a healthy food choice on their own, praise them and reinforce their choice.
9. When asked why don’t you want a particular food in the house, avoid condemnation, like “because I don’t want to get fat.” Instead try, “Because it slows me down” or “I just prefer food that helps me feel healthy”
10. Children often confuse boredom with hunger. When your child declares, “I want something to eat,” and you’re hunch is dull drums, get in the habit of offering an activity instead of a bag of junk. The trick is not to mention boredom or food. Instead, retort with an instant activity, “Hey, want take the dog on a walk with me?”
11. Lastly the best thing you can do for your children is to create for them a safe and supportive environment to develop their own self-confidence and unique identity. Allow them to fail and praise them for their courage to try. Don’t shield them from every heartache and life lesson. The number one common trait of those diagnosed with eating disorders is an overly involved, over-bearing parent. Yikes! May the force be with us!
