I Hope this Doesn't Warp Our Daughter...

I have a confession. While we still occasionally call Bean, "Bean", a new moniker has taken over.

We call our sweet, angelic, doe-eyed beauty... Weasel. And she answers to it. It all started when her dear cousin referred to her as "Baby Weese", and it went downhill from there. I didn't realize how much we used that nickname until a girlfriend exclaimed when we showed up at her house, "Oh, you brought Weasel!".

So, our dirty little secret is out. I see years of therapy ahead of the Weez.

Snoooze....

I stayed in bed until 9:45 this morning. Wow - I can't remember the last time I stayed in bed that late - certainly not since Bean was born. She woke up at 7, and Jim brought her to bed with us. If we're lucky, she'll fall back asleep for a bit after she eats. Unfortunately, this morning she decided to play her new favorite game -- "Smack Mommy in the Face and When She Moves, Grab Her Face as Hard as Your Chubby Little Hand Can Squeeze".

Jim took her downstairs to play with her so I could steal a little more sleep. I didn't wake up until 9:30, and I laid in bed listening to the sounds of my husband playing with our daughter - silly songs interspersed with running, squealing, and crashing sounds. It's moments like this when I feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

I finally went downstairs, and Jim had a big pot of coffee ready for me. We chat about our plans for today (not much since Bean has a bit of a cough), and then he says, in a serious voice you would use to tell someone you're going to an IRS audit meeting, "Oh, I need to go watch the UT-A&M game today at Texadelphia."

Hmmm, coincidence? In any case, I still feel pretty darn lucky :)

When the Cat's Away, the Mice Will Play...

We had a wedding to attend Saturday night, so I dropped off Bean at my parents' for an overnight. She absolutely loves my parents and has spent several successful overnights with them (including a 3-night stay when I went to Rachele's wedding).

While I adore my little Bean, it's nice to have an evening out sans poopy-maker. I partied like a rock star! Okay, so I only had 2 drinks and snuck a couple of cigarettes, but it was nice to get out. Of course I'm afraid I've become one of *those* moms that just can't stop talking about their kid. Can you blame me? ;-)

Yes, I'm a slacker...

Rachele posted a link to Fear and Trembling on her blog, so I felt compelled to make an update. It's been exactly three months since my last post. Sad, eh? So in the last three months, Bean has:

- learned how to wave "bye bye"
- developed three more teeth
- said her first real word. Nope, not Mama. Not Dada. Doggie. "Dah dah" to be exact. I hope Mr. Biggs' heart is warmed.

She has yet, however, learned how to crawl properly. At 10.5 months old, well, let's just say she's a little slow. Literally.

Her pedi said that we don't need to worry yet as she's doing wonderfully otherwise, but it does make me a wee bit anxious that she doesn't crawl yet. Her cousin (my cousin's daughter) was born just a day earlier and is already walking. Oh, well, Bean is much cuter ;-)

Oh yeah? Well your momma dresses you funny...

Bean has been consistently in the 45-50th percentile in height/weight since birth. Not teensy, but certainly not an overly large child according to the charts. To put her size in perspective, she's 7.5 months old and still wearing 3-6months outfits with room to spare.

Yet not a day goes by without me hearing some variation of, "She's so big!" or, "she certainly doesn't miss a meal, does she?" One of my coworkers actually said, "She's a fat one, eh?" Um, excuse me while I set my daughter down so I can kick your ass.

Hellooooo, people! She's a BABY! Have you not heard the term "baby fat"?!? It's not "baby skin-and-bones", it's "baby F-A-T". Bah.

Uh-Oh, Don't Tell Jim...

Beanie is growing so fast... It seems like yesterday I brought my tiny little mouse home, and overnight she's turned into a veritable little person. She has not one, but two (!) teeth and is eating cereal, fruits and veggies. She's even moved to sleeping in her crib in her nursery - a far cry from the little limpet that had to sleep in our bed just a few months ago.

Jim and I haven't decided yet if we're having more children. Our little family of three just seems so perfect, and, admittedly, I'm afraid that our second child won't be as incredibly awesome as Bean. Lately, though, with Bean practically signing up for her SAT's, I'm starting to get the urge to have another baby. I know, lock me up now!

Let's hope driving ability is not hereditary...

So back in the day, I used to drive a spiffy two-seater roadster convertible... When we found out we were having Bean, I knew my days of zipping around town with the top down were numbered. All in all, a fair trade.

I've been driving what I call not-so-affectionately, "the dog car". It's the car we use to transport the dogs, and, well, smells like dog. I've been repeatedly pointing out to Jim that this car was just beneath Bean ("What will her friends think?"), and I regaled him with stories of how much she hated the car, how the ride was uncomfortable, how she really, really wanted to ride in a different car. If it were just me, I emphatically told him, the dog car would be perfectly fine. I am only thinking of Bean!

Well, my dear, sweet, wonderful husband surprised me this past weekend with a brand new car - just the one I told him Bean wanted! He made a crack about wondering when I'd have my first accident in it. Those other times were not my fault, I cried defensively. That pole just jumped in front of me! Oh, and that time I rear-ended that truck - well, he made a sudden stop and I couldn't help it! The time I backed into that Audi? Well, they shouldn't have parked on the side of the road RIGHT across from my driveway!

Suffice it to say, Jim didn't have to wait long. Ladies and gentlemen, on the SECOND day I drive my brand-spankin', fresh off the boat, still-smells-like-new-car SUV, I scrape the sideview mirror while going through a toll both...

"It wasn't my fault, really! The lane was obviously too narrow. I mean, the sign said, "Narrow lane, cars only!"

I'm not sure why Jim looked at me funny when I said that....

Yeeeeoooowww! Part II

Well it happened... She bit me. With teeth.

More of Bean to love...

At Beanie's 6 month checkup, she weighed in at 16lbs on the nose. Less than a week later, I brought her back to the doctor to check out a mysterious rash I was convinced was life-threatening. She had gained 12 oz in six days!

I should have known she was going through a growth spurt because our normally sweet little angel has been quite the cranky-pants. The last two nights, she's decided we were getting too much sleep for our own good and took matters into her own hands (or rather, lungs). I'm convinced this is some sort of cosmic retribution for bragging about how I have such a great baby. She's still a great baby... just a very loud one.

Her Father's Daughter...

As I was stroking Beanie's hair today , I noticed... a few blonde hairs. Say it isn't so!

At least she has my brown eyes...

Not that I'm biased or anything...

... but Beanie is pretty damn cute. I know every mom thinks that her child is adorable, but Bean really is. I've seen a couple of kids that I acknowledged were as cute as Bean, so obviously I have an impartial eye!

My Little Mini-Me

I have to admit, I love having a daughter (mental note to self: remember to delete this post if you ever have a son). Besides the obvious fun of dressing her up, I'm looking forward to developing a mother-daughter relationship with Bean. I have visions of us shopping together, hanging out, and having wonderful conversations about life. Of course, this all has to be done before she's eleven and goes through that phase where she'll think I'm the second uncoolest person in the world (first will be her dad, of course!).

It's exciting yet stressful at the same time. I want to be a strong role model for her, and I'm really working on those parts I think need, well... work. First on that list is to stop obsessing about my weight. I've had a lifelong struggle with body image, and I definitely don't want to pass that on to Bean. I've vowed to never say "I'm fat" in front of her, and more importantly, never even jokingly call her fat, chubby, or plump. She's going to know how perfect she is, without, hopefully, being a big bloaty head :)

Happy Mother's Day

Dear Baby,

You're too young to understand this yet, and you probably won't understand until you have a child of your own, but the day you were born I got the best Mother's Day gift in the whole world. I love you so much it breaks my heart to think I ever lived without you.

Love,
Mommy

To sleep, perchance to dream...

I'm afraid to even post this lest I jinx myself, but Bean has been… sleeping through the night! In her bassinette, no less!

For those of you whom don't know the story, Beanie has slept in our bed since we brought her home. She'd sleep like a baby (hee!) in her bassinette for naps but would scream like a banshee if we put her there at night. How does that song go? We fought the Bean, and the Bean won… It actually worked out better that she was in bed with us since she was waking up 3x in the night to nurse. I had resigned myself to her sleeping with us until she outgrew her crib (and therefore rendering the money spent on crib bedding, etc., a complete waste) and not getting a full night's sleep until, well, ever again.

Jim had been telling me for weeks, "She'll be sleeping through the night soon, and things will get better." Tell this to a sleep-deprived mommy, and your liable to get kicked in the nuts. I'd fire back, "Oh, yeah? Easy for you to say! What makes you think she'll sleep through the night anytime soon? I'm the one that wakes up with her! How would you know if her sleep habits are getting better? You're sleeping!" Let's just say I had just a wee bit of frustration built up...

About a week and a half ago, Jim and I decided to try the bassinette again. Her caregivers at daycare have been successfully putting her in her crib for naps, so we thought it'd be worth a try. Miraculously, she went down without a fight and slept until 5 AM. Jim didn't say anything, but I knew what he was thinking. "Oh, yeah,? Well I'm sure it's a fluke, don't get your hopes up, buddy!" The second night, she slept until 5 again. And again the third night. She's now sleeping until the alarm goes off at 6:30. I feel like I've hit the baby lotto.

I have to admit, the one time Jim's been right about something, I'm glad it was about this ;-)

Does that come with an off switch?

Beanie has quite the temper. Most of the time, she's very good natured and incredibly easy. Occasionally, though, she'll get in one of her moods (usually when she's over-tired). It's amazing how much scream can come out of something so teensy. And screaming is the appropriate description because she doesn't shed tears. It's just full-on, purple-faced, I-want-everyone-to-think-that-you're-sticking-me-in-the-eye-with-a-pointy-object hysterics. The word apoplectic comes to mind. The only thing that consoles her when she gets like this is nursing, even if she's just eaten and not hungry.

Last night we visited relatives, and Beanie was smiling and talking and just generally being the adorable child that she is. As soon as we sat down to dinner, though, she started to cry (Murphy's Baby Law #143). As soon as I heard her, I could tell immediately it was a prelude to the storm. I picked her up, but my father INSISTED on taking her to calm her down. She kept crying, and I tried to take her back. No, no, he raised three daughters, he certainly can handle Bean! He took her to a bedroom, where I could still hear her wailing. Then screaming. Then shrieking. Three minutes later, he comes running out, hands her to me saying, "Okay, okay, she beat me!". Mind you, this is the man that flew helo's during the war and kept going back after being shot down three times.

I clamp her on; she sucks for dear life for two minutes, and passes out. As Jim says, thank goodness for boobies....

...Paved with Good Intentions

Things on my Mommy To Do List:

1. Start a scrapbook to capture all her "firsts"
2. Frame her baby pictures
3. Play classical musical for her regularly
4. Put her on a regular routine of sleeping in her crib
5. Teach her to not be materialistic
6. Slowly expose her to our dogs so that they all get along
   

Things I've Done Instead List:

1. Spread out scrapbooking supplies on my dining room table (where they still lay 2 months later)
2. Found all her baby pictures (I think) and put them in the same shoebox
3. Does 50-Cent count as a classic?
4. Adjusted to her routine of sleeping in our bed
5. Purchased the entire Ralph Lauren Spring 2005 Baby Collection
6. Used her as bait to lure our dogs back when they ran off
   

Oh well… I have done one thing right - her! She's just perfect :-)

Separation Anxiety

- Beanie with her toys at daycare

I must admit I've been remiss in my blog responsibilities. Let's see, what's been going on since I last posted... Oh, not much, except that I WENT BACK TO WORK !

I started last week, and the first day was awful. It started off on a great note with a traffic accident on I-10. Beanie is *ok* on car rides, but she hates it when the car stops. We're in stand-still traffic, and she's screaming her fool head off, and I'm right there with her, crying my eyes out. It doesn't get any better when we get to the daycare. She stops crying, but of course I don't. I make myself leave and head over to my office. After I pull myself together in the parking lot (read: wipe up the mascara running down my face, blow my nose, and try not to look like a complete basket-case), I go into the office. Of course, the first thing they ask me is, "How's Reese?". Waaahhhhhh!!! My baby can't be away from me all day!!!

Somehow I manage to make it until lunch when I can go see her. A million scenarios have been running through my head, all of which include my poor little Bean crying frantically for her mommy and evil daycare workers leaving her in a corner in a dirty diaper. I race over, knocking over other moms and dodging wee little ones to get to my poor baby. I throw open the infant room door, ready to rescue her, and I find her….

Asleep. Apparently she's been a model baby all morning and had just gone down for her nap. I wake her up, and she's all smiles. I think to myself, "well, let's see how she is when I leave." After nursing her, I have to head back to work. I brace myself for the inevitable tears when I go. I set her down in a swing, and she's immediately fixated by the toy toucan attached to it. She barely notices me saying goodbye to her.

Waaahhh!!! My baby doesn't need me!! Waaah!

Do I have "sucker" written on my forehead?

Apparently, both my daughter and my dogs think so.

In the animal world, dogs operate in a pack structure. Every pack must have a leader, the alpha dog, and all the other dogs happily give deference to the alpha. When you have a dog as a pet, you must assert yourself as the alpha dog. We have two dogs, and let's just say that Jim calls me the Omega Vy. They walk all over me.

It appears that things are no different with Bean. When she cries, I jump. She has me well trained, to say the east. Today, Beanie was on the couch with Jim, and she let out her cry. I was ready to pick her up, but Jim just looked over at her, raised an eyebrow, and she stopped crying and smiled back at him. That little stinker! When she cries when I'm with her, she only wants to be held and won't stop unless I pick her up. Oh well, I guess there could be worse things than your daughter wanting you to hold her :)

A Room with a View

I stopped by my company's daycare today to pick up some paperwork; while I was there, I visited the infant room to meet Beanie's future caregivers. They had an empty crib ready for her -- "Look, she got the best location. She's right by the window where she can get lots of sunshine and see outside." Great. All I could think was, "I hope they have UV coating on these windows. And is this the best crib location in case of a tornado?"

Everyone was really nice, though, and they made me feel *a little* better about leaving Beanie in daycare. One of my concerns is that they don't let babies sleep in the swings (they'll move them to their crib), and they aren't allowed to swaddle the babies. For the last 5 weeks, Beanie will ONLY nap if she's swaddled and in her swing. Hey, if they can get her trained to nap in a crib, more power to them.

I'm so nervous about her first day next week. Aside from my zillion personal worries about being a bad mother, being able to "do it all" working and being a mom, etc., I worry about her having fun and making friends. Ack, I'm a going to be a wreck. Heck, I'm already a wreck.

Sugar and Spice and Everything Nice...

I went to Foley's last night to buy some cheap "transitional" clothes so I can go back to work in clothes other than the sweatpants and Jim's XL undershirts that have been my uniform for the last 3 months. I'm still 14lbs above my pre-pregnancy weight, and none of my regular clothes fit.

After trying on a few items, I got too depressed and headed for the baby department. Oh, I so love little girl clothes! I bought Bean some really adorable outfits and a pair of cute espadrilles for summer. Even though she can't crawl or walk, it's critical she has cute shoes, you know.

It's funny...before I got pregnant, I always said, "If I have a daughter, I will not force her into traditional gender roles. She will be dressed in neutral colors, and she will play with toy racecars and trucks. Her room will be decorated in bright primary colors that will stimulate her mind. She will not be subjected to gender stereotypes, and her role models will be strong women."

Of course, as soon as I found out I was having a girl, I went out and bought everything pink and frilly I could find. I picked out fairy princess bedding for her crib, and had a fairy-themed mural painted in her room.

Sigh, she's going to be a mess with me as her mom. But at least she'll be cute :)